Knead2Dance

Dance As If No One was Watching

Oren Pardes — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 22:13:34 +0000

Social dancing is not the same as social performing. Many social “partner” dance classes seem to emphasize patterns, footwork, and “styling” – as if they are what matters most. NONE of these are what really make a COUPLE look and feel good TOGETHER on the dance floor. What all too often is overlooked and omitted, in my opinion, is that dancing is a relationship and mainly about connection – with the music and each other (MUCH more than with whoever may be watching).

Moving together in harmony to the rhythms of the music and each other does NOT require even moving the feet. Focusing on learned choreography and pattern variations seems to distract many from leading, following, and staying connected – and inhibit “original” creative and playful impromptu improvisation in the moment. Every song and every partner is slightly different – and how people dance should reflect this.

Each person moves in a unique and individual way – and thus has an innate style of their own, whether they realize it or not. Moving together with another often creates a certain aesthetically appealing look – with limbs flowing freely from the undulation of two torsos moving in sync. Most learned “styling” is really more for the benefit of others watching than a natural expression of the dancers or their interpretation of the music. The emphasis is almost always much more on how what is done might look to someone else rather than how it may enhance the intimate experience with one’s partner.

Dance first, “style” second – if at all.

The (often unintended) message communicated by styling is that those watching are more important than the “partner” – especially when the styling is done while the partner’s back is turned and it can only be seen by others. Many women may say that styling makes them feel more attractive – but are often vague about to who. Shoes, clothes, hairstyle, lipstick and other make-sup are often selected and worn NOT to please the man a woman is actually with but for the attention of OTHER men – and the notice and “approval” of other WOMEN.

People often seem to want to dress up and behave “better” for people they do not know and may never see or interact with again than for those actually in their lives and whose opinions and preferences should matter more (but don’t).

I am NOT against formal education and training. Learning and practicing new movements often expands and enhances the possibilities individuals and couples have available to share. I just wish more people would dance as if no one was watching – and focus entirely on their partner and the music (in that order) instead of caring how they might look.

That’s my perspective. What’s yours?

WHY – What Helps You

Oren Pardes — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 05:21:01 +0000

To get what you want, it really helps to to what you want – and WHY.

Allow yourself to answer three important questions:

1. What, specifically, do you want?

2. What stops you from getting from what you want?

3. How will you know that you have achieved the changes or results you desire?

WHY is What Helps You – reach your goals

Identify why what you want is important – to you and/or others?

Identifying your values. What is fundamentally important (and driving you)?

Aligning to your values and what is fundamentally most important to you will help you take action, keep going, and make any changes stick.

What is important to you about _________?

What ELSE is important to you about _________?

Go beyond 2-3 times of having nothing more to say.

What is most important usually comes up at the end of the list…..

Don’t go it alone. Find a friend who is objective for support and accountability.

Self-sabotage is the result of internal (parts) conflict.

Discover underlying positive intention of each part

If part of you wants ____ and another part of you wants _____
If on one hand you want ____ but on another you want ______

What is it’s highest positive intention? What does it ultimately want for you?

Identify Secondary gain

What does being this way allow you to feel, have, or do?

How can you get that same thing – in a better and more ecological way?

What else (instead)?

Perceptual Positions

Got a problem?
1. Imagine floating above yourself, looking down on yourself.
Ask: What else can you do in this moment?
What additional choices do you have – from this vantage point?

2. View yourself or situation from second position – someone else’s perspective.
How would it look, feel, or sound to someone else – and what would they recommend?

3. Take a third-party (meta) position.
What would an objective bystander think and suggest from a big picture view?

Regardless of outcome, always Ask:
1. What did you learn?
2. What would you do different next time – to get a better or more desired result next time?
3. What else could this mean?

Please post a comment to let me – and others – know.

Energy flows to where attention goes. We get more of what we reinforce.

Pay as much attention to the questions you ask as the answers you get.

More great questions to consider.

Live to the fullest of your own inner potential

Trust Your Gut!

Oren Pardes — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 01:46:36 +0000

Most people probably don’t think of their intestines as being all that important, let alone “intelligent”, but they are (both). In fact, our intestines are often even MORE intuitive, insightful, informative, and influential than than either the heart or brain.

Humans are a bit like doughnuts – with the part in the middle actually being part of the outside. All that passes through our digestive tract is outside the body until digested and absorbed by our intestines – located at our center of gravity (and represented in iridology at the center of our eyes, windows to our souls, around the opening of our pupils). We are NOT what we eat; we are what we absorb and assimilate.

Digestion takes more energy than any other body process – except, perhaps, orgasm. Our intestines not only influence our metabolism, but also the meaning of any matter we take in – even when not through our mouths. Before we have a thought in our brain, or a feeling in our heart, we usually have a gut reaction. Studies on human physiological response show that the body often give off signals before a person is consciously aware of what they think or feel. There is also a form of bodywork in which a microphone or sensor pad is placed on a person’s abdomen as other parts of their body is massaged – and any shift, change, or or release is always accompanied by gurgles, rumbles, or other digestive noises that can be heard on a speaker.

We smell, see, hear, taste, think, and interpret with our brains, but the brain has no feeling of it’s own. Like memories, they are also not limited to only one area or organ (like our hearts). Hearts and brains can be transplanted in their entirely (into someone else). Intestines supposedly cannot. They can be cut and shortened – or spliced and added to, but not (as far as I know) replaced completely. Without enough of the one we were born with, we die. New anti-rejection drugs make (partial) transplantation possible – but survival still requires retaining at least part of our own “inner being”.

Our hearts are pretty amazing, and our lungs provide us with inspiration, but our genitals are as much the source of our passion. People talk more often about “having balls” than “intestinal fortitude” – yet “no guts, no glory”.

My current gut feeling is that it’s time to eat. I’m hungry.

Needs – of men (by women)

Oren Pardes — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 22:18:17 +0000

A man’s desire to feel “needed” (especially by a woman) has nothing to do with co-dependency – or either of them being “needy”. Women who regard men as “unnecessary luxuries” are often likely to end up without the “luxury” of what they “don’t need”.

Unlike “luxuries”, ‎”necessities” are “necessary”, “essential”, and “needed” – whether they are actually “wanted” or not. To “want” means to “lack”. A list of desires is best when it includes not just what may be “lacking” but also what is not – for it to remain (and not later be “missing” what was “lost”). People often aren’t even aware of what they’ve got until it’s gone. Men, in particular, seldom like to be taken for granted or not feel they are appreciated – especially by a woman they are with. Men who can be “taken or left” will often leave on their own – whether “wanted” (by the woman) or not. There “needs” to be a “reason” or “purpose” for a man to be there and to stay. Unlike for women, feeling “needed” (in SOME way) is a “CORE need” for ALL men!

It is often “enough” for many men to “just” be the “cream” in a woman’s “coffee” or the “icing” on her “cake” – IF that “completes” it. The main point is that the man know that the woman’s experience would be as good or desired without his presence (even if it is not actually “required”). When considered only “optional”, it is very likely that most men will (eventually) “opt out”. If drinking coffee black and eating cake plain is just fine and acceptable, that’s very likely how a women will get them – more often than she may “prefer” (or “expect”).

A man seldom leaves a woman because she is not “interesting” or even “attractive” (enough), but he often will if he does not feel good about himself when with her. How she views and treats him affects how most men feel far more than most women know. Men do NOT desire to feel like they are “merely” a “luxury” – no matter how enjoyed – that could easily be done without. Both men and women like to feel that they are “important” to and valued by someone else – but men actually NEED to feel accepted, appreciated, and that they (really) make a difference (or they will soon start to seek out where they might be).

Rather than seeking their “other half” or thinking of either themselves or whoever they desire to be with as “less than” or “incomplete” without a “mate”, both men and women would do better seeing themselves as “holons” – “whole parts” of something greater and more than either can be alone. Everything in the universe is essentially: a relationship, an aspect of energy, and a holon – made up of other holons.

While people may be fine alone and apart, they are often much better together. Synergy is not possible without someone else. Some women seem to resist (and resent?) talking about “needs”, “needing”, and who or what is “needed”. Not all women need, or even desire, a man in their life – but even gay men benefit from having a woman in theirs. Life is inherently female in nature by “default”. Males would not (continue to) exist if they were not needed (by at least some females). Contrary to what many women seem to believe, “needing” a man is not a weakness – but often a source of strength and synergy for both.

That’s my perspective. What’s yours?

Coming out of the Dark

Oren Pardes — Sun, 03 Jul 2011 00:47:36 +0000

Leaving a light on is not the same as letting your own light shine.

Most humans seem to be somewhat afraid of the dark (especially when alone at night) – and go out of their way to avoid it. Only the blind seem unaffected by darkness – although even they can usually detect the presence or absence of light (through the “third eye” of their pineal gland). Some blind people can even “echo locate” – like bats and dolphins. With a little instruction and practice, even most sighted people can develop their other senses and learn to feel or “sense” the “energy” (or “aura”) of what is around them in the dark – yet most people still seem to become more fearful even in dim light, let alone where there does not seem to be any (visible) light at all.

The night sky may seem darker to us than when the sun is visible during the day, but it is rarely even close to as dark as it used to be in the past due to the number of lights and fires shining so bright all night that they are visible to astronauts orbiting the planet. Not only major streets and various “important” man-made structures, but even the borders of entire countries are clearly visible from (the darkness of the vast space beyond the tiny blue marble we call “home”).

Some cities may seem to “never sleep”, but most people in them do for at least part of the night and often shut themselves in (even if they stay awake). With very few exceptions, anyone not inside their “home” or working a “late shift” tends to be assumed as “up to no good”. Unlike many other life forms on this planet, humans are not naturally “nocturnal” – and just being awake and outside at night is often enough to attract the attention and suspicion of “security” personnel and “law enforcement” officers.

The importance of sleep for good health cannot be emphasized enough. More people than realize it are chronically sleep-deprived (often as a result of artificial lighting and the all-night activity it allows). Like with sleep, humans are healthiest and happiest not only when they get enough natural sunlight, but when they get enough darkness and quiet in their life.

It’s important to be sure that the light at the end of our tunnel vision is not an oncoming train before rushing toward it like a moth. Looking too long at a bright light can blind us and make it impossible to ever see anything else again. Many religions worship the sun (light) as God – and have warnings about looking directly at the Source (of all “illumination”).

Light and darkness are relative – not just to each other, but to how they are perceived. Light is usually considered good and darkness either neutral or evil. Depending upon your perspective, darkness may be what we (don’t) see without the presence or addition of light, or light could be what fills the void in the absence or lack of darkness. Either way, like yin and yang, darkness would be better appreciated as the natural and necessary complement to light than wishing it were eliminated, reduced, or replaced.

What, when and how we eat, sleep, exercise, and innercise affects every aspect of our (personal and professional, physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual) life. We do not adapt, grow, and evolve during active stimulation, but in the “passive” pause(s) between it.

A black hole is now known to be at the center of every galaxy. Rather than being “collapsed suns” or “dark stars” that suck light and everything else into them like a vacuum, black holes are now known to be (somewhat) “selective” about what they “swallow” – perhaps even more so than many people (or sharks). Worm holes probably do not really exist, but if they did, they would end in a light hole. Either way, what goes in does not seem to (ever) come (back) out – at least the same way (in any form). If energy cannot be created or destroyed, it must be transformed into something else. No-thing exists in a vacuum. Content requires context – and contrast.

The essence of life is time and relationships. Time is measured by the speed of light (in a vacuum). Unlike light, time Perhaps it is not light, but darkness that is actually faster and more “constant”. Either way, light, like everything else in the (“known”) universe is “relative”. Everything is energy and all is connected in the “uni-verse” – and within our own bodies. We are all apiece – as “holons” (whole parts of a greater whole made of whole parts) – simultaneously “nowhere” and “now here”.

What we call darkness (and space) is not (just) what seems to separate us – but what connects us (and may even be necessary for light and any kind of “individuality” to exist).

The black hole in the center of our eye is called the “pupil”. Another word for pupil is student – and we can learn a lot from our eyes.
The colored part of the eye around the “pupil” is called the “iris”. Iris was the Greek Goddess of the Rainbow. Iridology is the study of the iris – and it’s relationship to the rest of the body (and our personality). Shining light though a prism allows us to “split” (white) light into a rainbow of colors (we can see separately). Placing another prism at the end of the rainbow “re-unites” all colors “back” into (it’s original) “white” light. This is more than a metaphor for just light and how we “see” (it).

The eyes are often called the “windows of the soul”. Windows allow looking both in and out. Humans not only receive light through their eyes (and pineal gland), but also emit and transmit light (from many other parts of their body). No (exterior or artificial) light is needed for us to see, sense, send, or be truly “seen” – for who we are (as beings of light – and darkness).

Like aperture of a camera lens, the size of pupil determines how much light enters (or leaves) the eye at any given time. Photography is really recording light. Seeing takes place in our minds (and “imagination”) – where light is “re-coded”. The new field of “epigenetics” reveals that how our cell membranes “encode” everything they contact has more influence on us than anything else (on either side) – and thus what we think and say to ourselves and believe may more access and influence over us than our environment, activities, or genetic inheritance.

How the iris reacts (especially to light) is an indication of many aspects of our physical, emotional, and mental state – including our “sensitivity” and innate “appetite” (for life). Pupils increase whenever we LIKE what we see – and want to let more (light) in. Pupils expand NOT when there is more light, but when there is more darkness – either in an effort to make it easier for any light present or perhaps to make it easier to shine more of our own inner light outward.

The area of the iris closest to the black hole of the pupil is associated with digestion – which is one of the most fundamental and necessary functions (of every cell) in our body. More body space, time, and energy is devoted to digestion than anything else. It is often easier and more important to control what we put into, and let out of, our open mouths than almost anything else we do (other than what we say to ourselves – especially about ourselves).

The digestive tract (from the mouth to the anus) is, for all practical purposes, “outside” the body. We are not our thoughts – and we are NOT (really much of anything) just because we may think (we are). What we do and/or don’t matters more. We are also not so much what we eat, as what we assimilate (and allow ourselves to eliminate). Some things we take in pass right through us, some influence us for a period of time, some gets stuck in an “outer space” inside us, and the rest actually becomes (not just part of us, but all of) us. Reincarnation (and recycling) is simply the recognition that what enters or leaves us is something else before and after it is “us”.

What we call a “gut feeling” is often more “accurate” (and immediate) than what we call emotion or thought. The intestines may even be more “intelligent” (and essential) than either the heart or brain. It’s usually a good idea to “trust your gut”. Hearts and even brains can be “replaced”. That is not (yet) true for our intestines. What you “hunger” for could be a good indicator not only of what you need (in the form of food and fuel for your “inner fire of desire”), but also what you may have to offer – and share with others.

Rather than ignore, deny, or fear our “dark side”, we would be better acknowledging, embracing, and incorporating every “aspect” and “part” of ourselves into an integrated whole. Our lives revolve around what we say to ourselves and believe as much as they do around people, places, and activities. Our planet may orbit the sun, but our sun – and everything else in our galaxy – revolves around a black hole. Emptiness is as much the center and essence of all that exists as feeling we are all part of one, and one part of all, with parts of all within each one of us.

An essential part of creation and innovation is not just observation and evaluation, but appreciation (before, during, and after).

An essential part of digestion, health, life, and perhaps even the entire universe itself, is not just stimulation, “perturbation”, discrimination, integration, assimilation, incorporation, and “transformation”, but also “elimination”, “letting go”, and making more (dark, empty) “space” – for rest, relaxation, and recuperation. A voluntary vacation is usually preferable to involuntary evacuation.

It is possible to go many weeks without any food at all – but only a few minutes without breathing. Unlike protein and fat, there are no “essential” carbohydrates, yet we need sufficient sugar as much as blood and oxygen for our bodies to function. If we are not feeding ourselves from outside sources, even respiration and blood and oxygen circulation require fueling ourselves from “resources” within.

Inspiration is related to, but not the same as, inhalation (in the same way that exhalation is not the same as expiration). Choosing to go without food for a period of time is called fasting – which refers not to its speed or duration but to (the dedication of) sticking with it.

Less is not always more, but the less fear, the less stuff, the less complexity, and less distraction we deal with, the more time, space, energy, freedom, and opportunity we usually find to make the most of what attracts our attention and fills our lives in its absence. A shadow exists not only because of the presence of light, but also because something is blocking it. Darkness (and our shadow selves) may not only be a necessary for our light to come out of, but also for our light to enter into – especially if we wish light to spread and grow. The same is true regarding what we refer to as negativity and positivity.

Rather than fearing the dark, perhaps we would be better perceiving and welcoming it as open space – and an invitation to seek, shine, and share more of the light within us (as well as required to rest and retreat into to to discover the dreams we desire to bring to light).

That’s my perspective. What’s yours?

Less Chips, More Salsa

Oren Pardes — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 00:38:45 +0000

Chips aren’t just for potatoes – and they go well with far more than just fish. The same is true for salsa.

Salsa (music, dance, and in the form of mild and spicy sauces) is growing in popularity around the world. Chips are a natural “complement” – as long as they are not on anyone’s shoulders. Chips are often “complimentary” – but not always to our appearance.

Big shoulders are associated with responsibility – but consuming too many “servings” of chips (with or without salsa) usually shows up more in the hips and waistline (and tends to reflect a lack of awareness and responsibility for “portions” that would better “serve” us – and others).

It’s less important where chips or salsa are made (even if from New York City) , than how – and how much we eat (at a time). Humans are “hardwired” to crave salt – and it is easy to consume far more than is good for us. The human stomach can’t really hold or handle more than about two closed fist-fulls of food at a time. Keep this in mind when asked, “Do you want fries with that?”

Salsa music can be fast – but that does not mean we need to eat at the speed of the beat. The California Highway Patrol is known as CHiPs – and that may be a good analogy for our need to pay attention to the speed at which chips are eaten – if we don’t want to get into trouble as a result. Sometimes, no matter what’s in our hand, it’s best to just lay our chips down – rather than go “all in” or “all out” – and using chips to shovel more salsa or any other “dip” into our mouths.

The pace at which we eat, shows up not only in our belly, but also our face – and even our feet. Just as it is good to put our best foot forward and keep it out of our mouth, so would we best be served by putting a few servings aside and not putting them in our mouth.

Salsa music is known for “breaks” – which are often good places to “dip” your partner. Rather than just dipping more chips into salsa, take a “break” – and get on the dance floor (with or without a partner). The more you move your body (to the Salsa beat), the less you may find that you crave to eat – and the more you will enjoy the chips that you do.

Less chips and more Salsa is a good way of making sure that your pants not only will still fit but that they don’t try to get up to dance without you while your mouth is full.

That’s my perspective. What’s yours?

More Than a Metaphor

Oren Pardes — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 06:11:33 +0000

Dancing is (the physical and emotional expression of) a relationship.

Dancing has little to do with steps or styling – or doing anything a certain way (or like anyone else).

Connection is more important than counting or choreography – and is essential for leading, following, and moving (together in harmony) to (and with) the music and not (just mechanically) through it (especially when it changes).

Timing is not just about (what is done on) the beat, but also (during) the space(s) and movement(s) in between.

Technically, each movement is part of a continuous (body roll) dance with alternating contraction and expansion and an increase and release of tension.

Partner Dances

Partnership requires awareness, acceptance, and appreciation of each person’s role and abilities. Two (or more) people truly dancing together is not the same as just dancing by oneself with others around.

Pleasing yourself, your partner, and anyone watching, involves paying attention to and honoring the relationship – with yourself, the music, your partner, and the people and space around you.

Open

Oren Pardes — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 20:39:32 +0000

In the Game of Hands (Rock-Paper-Scissors), and open hand always beats a closed one. The same is also true for hearts, minds, and almost everything else in life.

The best way to open a closed fist (or a cramped muscle) is to first go MORE in the direction it is already going (similar to how tai chi or aikido takes the energy of an attacker in the direction it is already going – before redirecting it).

Go with the flow – to get what you want to let go (and/or then go where you want it to go).

Try this yourself.

Squeeze one hand into a fist. Trying to force it open by pulling with your other hand won’t get you far – BUT if the other hand instead squeezes the first hand even tighter, the clenched fist will “WANT” to let go.

This simple technique, approach, and philosophy works for muscles that are tight, cramped, or in spasm; people who are (physically or verbally) foolish enough to attack; and people who need to learn and personally experience the effect of what their choices and actions lead to.

Going Bananas

Oren Pardes — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 23:24:51 +0000

The expression “going bananas” is from the effects of bananas on the brain.

Bananas contain three natural sugars: sucrose, fructose, and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained, and substantial boost of energy. Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world’s leading athletes.

But energy isn’t the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood, and generally make you feel happier.

PMS: Forget the pills – eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit’s ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

Brain power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) School (England) were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins, which help calm the nervous system.

Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and
smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also
neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a “cooling” fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.

Smoking and tobacco use: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6 and B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain, and regulates your body’s water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be re-balanced with the help of a high-potassium banana
snack.

Strokes: According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine, eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!

So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around. So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, “A banana a day keeps the doctor away!”

Bananas may be the reason monkeys seem so happy all the time!

Here’s one more: Want a quick shine on our shoes? Take the INSIDE of the banana skin, and rub directly on the shoe…polish with dry cloth. Amazing fruit !!!

Not All Social Contact is Appreciated

Oren Pardes — Wed, 05 May 2010 23:34:59 +0000

Partner dancing should be considered a (social) contact sport. Some dances (and/or partners) require, encourage, or allow more contact than others – but the contact is meant to improve the connection between partners – and not injure or interfere with other couples. If people drove their cars the way many seem to dance, there would be a lot less people (alive) on the road.

For reasons I do NOT at all understand, very few couples seem to look where they are going or pay attention to what others are doing around them while they are dancing. Although there is NO justifiable reason for it, it is not at all uncommon for even the best dancers to get bumped, elbowed, stepped on, or even knocked over by others who are unable or unwilling to control of themselves or who are unaware of (their affect on) those around them. Surprisingly, it does not seem to matter whether or not the dance floor is particularly crowded or if anyone is or is not intoxicated. The chances of getting stepped on by a stiletto (at the very least) seem about the same – except among the more highly trained competitive dancers.

Just as some cars are easier to steer than others, some partners are easier to lead or follow than others. It is rare to not have to share the road or the dance floor. Everyone’s safety depends upon paying attention to what others are doing and obeying the “rules of the road”. This is as true in dancing as it is in driving.

Most dance lessons seem to emphasize steps, patterns, footwork, timing, rhythm, syncopation, variations, body movement, styling, and to a lesser degree partnership, connection, and how to really lead and follow. All are helpful in looking and feeling good while dancing (especially with someone else). So why do so many people crash into each other? Few people ever learned or were taught the importance of FLOORCRAFT and allowing enough room for others.

While connection with the music, the eyes, hearts, and imagination of any admiring onlookers, and your own emotions within are encouraged, the only physical contact dancers should have is with their partner (and their feet on the floor). A good leader is one who not only makes his partner look and feel good but also one who protects her – and others – from hitting anything (especially other people). Whether you lead or follow, PLEASE keep in mind that you are NOT the only one(s) dancing – and be as, if not more, aware of others around you as you are of the music, yourself, your partner, and whatever you are doing together.

Finally, don’t be a robot – doing some learned pattern no matter what. Learn to adjust to the rhythm and changes in the music and the available space around you. Jam to the music and connect with your partner but please refrain from stepping on someone else’s foot other than your own and remembering that good eye contact does not mean (accidentally) sticking your finger into someone else’s eye (or anywhere else). Follow the line of dance, stay in your track, and don’t let your spot or movements take up any more space than you need to. Not only will maintaining a safety zone allow more room for others, but also allow others to better see and appreciate your dancing.