Axioms of Sex Appeal

Men and women define sex appeal differently.

Men are extremely sexual and judge women on the basis of even a seven-second appraisal.

Many men believe that there is such a thing as an “aura” of sex appeal that some women project.

Men also focus on the way a sexy woman relates to them, how available she is to them, how well she focuses on them and makes them think about her in a sexual way.

Sex appeal has nothing to do with age.

Physical beauty and sex appeal do not necessarily always go together.

Confidence is so vital to sex appeal that it supersedes other qualities.

There is a subtle element of erotic danger in sex appeal.

Our sense of smell is much stronger and more detailed than we think. Human beings can tell each other apart by odors alone.

We collect smell data on another person within a few minutes of the first meeting.

There are certain body areas in women that do produce sexy odors – the armpit, the skin around the vagina, folds around the clitoris, cleavage of the breasts, folds under the breasts, aurolea surrounding the nipple, as well as the face, hands, feet, even the breath.

There is an interesting factor called “odor homogamy”, when men and women are drawn to each other because of their odor configuration, which is a comfortable sum of a person’s skin, hair, food, and workplace odors.

Animals rely on odors to transmit powerful sex messages, and, after all, we are descended from the animals.

Scientists suspect that a vaginal odor signal might be partly responsible for sex appeal in the female rhesus monkey and discovered a substance called “copulins”.

Human women were studied for the presence of “copulins” by examining menstrual tampons, and it was learned that some women (the sexier ones?) secreted much more of these so-called copulins – so many that the scientists called them “producers”.

Natural female body odors may be an important part of sex attraction; to wash them all away might be a mistake.

Men generally like natural female odors and many men respond powerfully to them.

Styles in bodies change, and the beauties of the Victorian and Edwardian era were, in our terms, fat.

Men do put physical features first when looking for a one night stand, but tend to look for other qualities when it’s a long-term relationship they want.

Some men are “partialists”, that is, they are drawn to certain body parts above others, and consider them extremely sexy. Partialism means that a wide variety of women can be found sexually attractive, at least be some men.

Most women feel inferior to Playboy and Penthouse centerfolds. But men generally agree that these tantalizingly posed sexpots are fantasies, not real life. And some men admit that, if a Playboy model walked into a party, they might not approach her anyway.

One way of describing a physically attractive female is that she is “not male”. Exaggerating femaleness is sexy. Exaggerating maleness isn’t.

No matter what a body type is, or how alluring some males may find it, other men will find it unappealing. For every turn-on, there is a turn-off.

Men like a fuller figure than most women believe they do.

Heavier women must meet more men than the slimmer woman in order to find a possible mate.

One quality of a beautiful face is a lack of extremes.

A sexy voice is one that is sweet, soft, light, non-threatening, and has a smile in it.

Breasts are sexual signals, and the majority of women in this country wear a B cup. The most popular breast size to men was a C cup, followed by a B cup. Many men simply like breasts, whatever the size.

Criteria for women’s bodies vary tremendously from male to male. There is no “one” standard for being sexy.

An important part of sex appeal is what goes on in the mind. When a woman flirts with a man she should keep in mind two thoughts – first, his attractiveness, and secondly, her own.

Sexual awareness is a very close relative of self-esteem. A woman who feels herself to be sexy, vital, and desirable will be.

Sexy women like men and feel that they make good friends.

Sexy women like their bodies, and are pretty well satisfied with the way they look, finding only minor things wrong with themselves. Body-liking is probably another big secret of sex appeal.

Sexy women are excellent at making a man feel desired as a male, and in admiring his manly traits. Sexy women subtly suggest availability, even if they never act on it.

Men usually prefer the subtle approach, saying things like the woman “should be gentle”, “should know how to seduce without seeming that she is seducing”.

Success is also sexy, and when a woman has had a triumph at work, this is often transmitted to her attitude, making her glow.

A woman’s body language, for men, is like a marker that flags out certain females for more detailed scrutiny.

Sexy women are smooth-moving, not careless about how they sit/walk/talk, and they would automatically not be sloppy.

A sexy walk is a confident one, and can be an erotic instrument.

An unsexy walk is wide-legged, the feet placed far apart to widen the base for more security in walking. To stride with the feet about three to five inches apart from each other is about average. If you bring the feet any closer than that, sexiness increases.

High heels are sexier than flat shoes because of the actual physical changes that high heals make in the way a woman carries her body, and because of a subtle, unconscious flavor of “fetter and bondage”.

A sexier woman sits in a loose, free, relaxed, self-confident way, and she also tends to sit closer to a man that a non-sexy woman.

There are many small, pretty gestures of leg-crossing, or taking the shoes off in the company of others, that show sexiness or receptivity.

The first thing that happens in flirting, on an instinctual, biological level, is that the man must satisfy himself that his partner is not going to be physically aggressive. Certain submissive behaviors do assure the man that it’s safe to approach a woman. Aggressive body language, on the other hand, may be a sexual turn-off.

A woman can send out seductive body messages even though she doesn’t intend to. Such messages include long periods of smiling, looking into the man’s eyes, and then averting the eyes, speaking in a soft, high voice, stretching, smiling, preening the hair.

Smiling is a vital part of flirting. “A maid that laughs is half taken”.

Eye contact is extremely important to flirting also, and takes many forms — the room-encompassing look, the sidelong look, the up-and-down look, the riveting look, and prolonged eye contact.

Touching is another strong signal, used by sexy women to maximum effect. This can be touching the man’s arm to emphasize a point, or touching him while exchanging objects such as pens or glasses. It can also be “accidental” touch, such as when a woman’s thigh brushes against a man’s.

Display or preening gestures, such as fluffing up the hair, adjusting a necklace, playing with a glass or some other object you are holding, licking guacamole off a finger, all show sexual interest. These are unconscious messages saying, “I would like my body to look good for you”.

Other body movements can be effective, too. These include using the shoulders, cocking or tilting the head, flashing your ring finger, crossing or uncrossing the legs, or doing a little “dance in place” to the rhythm of music.

A woman’s voice is very important in flirtation, for when it is soft, it lets a man know she will not be aggressive or rejecting. If a voice has a warm, “smiling” quality to it, men will tend to find it very attractive.

Singling the man out – cutting him out of a crowded room by starting a conversation or sitting down with him – is an extremely effective way to begin flirtation.

Looking accessible is very important in terms of body language. This is because most men have been rejected often enough to be wary, and many tend to hang back until the woman has shown some signs of interest first. Ways to look accessible include sitting facing the room, allowing your eyes to rove around the room, keeping a happy expression on your face, not looking down or crossing the arms. Never be dismal or heavy if you want to start a flirtation – any talk of depressing topics is like putting a rock in a soap bubble. It will drop right through and destroy the flirtation.

Sprinkle your conversation with a judicious selection of slightly risque jokes, or be open in your talk. Most sexy do talk or hint about sex, at least sometimes.

Other effective moves that women have made include helping the man to carry the conversation, asking small favors of him to give him a chance to flirt, sharing food or other personal items.

When dancing with a man you want to attract, don’t be perfunctory, gazing all around the room, but rather act as if he is your partner and focus all your attention on him. Smile, lean forward to talk to him or touch him, look into his eyes. When slow dancing, let your body relax, dance close, follow him very closely, and act reluctant to leave his arms when the music is over.

Men and women do undergo bodily changes as they ready themselves for interaction with the opposites sex, and many sexy women show noticeable changes in appearance as soon as an attractive man appears on the scene.

There are certain myths circulated among young boys, and one of them is that girls with large breasts are sexier, and more “ready to go”. That is what I call an enhancement factor – a circumstance that works to build up sex appeal.

When a woman plays selectively hard to get – that is, when she is hard for most men to get, but easy for a target man to date – this enhances her desirability the most. If a woman plays hard to get for all men, men may fear she’ll be cold or rejecting. If she is too easy to get she isn’t a desirable date either – men fear she might grow too serious, or be too hard to get rid of.

People are more attracted to a person who is initially punishing and then rewarding than to a person who is always rewarding.

Higher feelings of sexiness or attraction often occur under conditions of anxiety, fear, pain, or physical danger. It is easy to get a man attracted to you sexually if the two of you can interact under conditions of emotional or physical challenge, such as white-water rafting or kayaking.

If you are physically beautiful, people automatically assume that you possess other desirable characteristics – in other words, beauty is assumed to be “good”.

There is a phenomenon called the “closing time factor”, based on the country-western song, “Don’t the Girls All Get Prettier At Closing Time”. What is means is that individuals of the opposite sex may seem more desirable as the time for interacting with them runs short.

Male monkeys experience sexual rejuvenation when they interact with a new partner, and the human males may also find novelty in a partner extremely stimulating. In fact, if you’re new to a man, this alone increases your sexiness to him.

Average-looking women seem more attractive when they hang out with more attractive ones.

Sexy women tend to be at ease with sex and like it more than the average woman does. They think about it more and make love more often than the average. They rate their sex lives as highly enjoyable, in sharp contrast to women polled in other surveys.

Sexy women are more orgasmic than ordinary women – about three-quarters climax all of the time or most of the time. In fact, being orgasmic has a positive influence both on the way a woman feels about herself sexually and the way she reacts to men.

Women who men consider sexy are probably more liberal in bed and tend to initiate sex at least half the time – in contrast to more ordinary women, only 43 percent of whom initiate sex half the time.

Men tend to believe that sexy women are better in bed than the average woman – but they also point out that exceptionally beautiful women do not always perform in bed as well as their plainer sisters.

The pages of Penthouse can offer women clues as to what men find alluring. The sight of female genitals is a real turn-on for men, and the self-touching poses and come-hither looks depicted in these magazines are illustrations of what males consider bedroom seductive.

Men need positive feedback as to their sexiness, too, a feedback that sexy women are exceptionally good at providing. Sexy women talk in bed and tell their men how good looking and masculine they are. Men like to hear sexually explicit praise about their bodies and their lovemaking abilities.

Women generally have two kinds of fantasies – sexual and romantic.

More sexy women have romance fantasies, however, than sexual ones. And it has been learned that readers of romance novels tend to be sexier and enjoy sex more than nonreaders. A big turn-on for a man is confidence. If a woman lacks a perfect body, her self-esteem, her body-confidence, will make her seem sexy anyway.

Men are also attracted when a woman shows strong interest in them – without overdoing it.

Turn-offs to men are as varies as are men, and many of them are idiosyncratic.

There are some sins a woman commits that say, loudly and clearly, that she doesn’t consider herself sexy and doesn’t care to try. These include slovenliness, dirtiness, and body odor.

Some turn-offs fall into the area of poor self-esteem. The woman doesn’t feel good about herself, and she projects this attitude by having bad posture, being sloppy overweight, having a lack of muscle tone, and a lack of confidence.

Some women try too hard – and their very desperateness turns men off. Being too aggressive, too needy, too “cute”, or too materialistic will drive men away very quickly.

Another turn-off happens unconsciously when women put up barriers to being sexy, such as being too critical or pessimistic, acting too male, being abrasive, stuck up, or indifferent.

Bad habits are a huge turn-off, and many men said the two biggest turn-offs to them are smoking and alcoholic behavior.

Using too much of anything is usually a turn-off to men. Poor choices in clothes, jewelry, or perfume send out negative rather than positive vibes. Also, sometimes a woman tolerates some minor flaw in herself that could be fixed with the aid of a good dentist or dermatologist. Bad teeth and facial moles or hair definitely detract from sex appeal.

Personality flaws – some of which can’t be helped – can nonetheless dampen sexual attractiveness. On of the greatest defects is bitterness, which handicaps a woman far greater than any amount of fat.

Women with exceptional beauty are treated differently right from childhood. People assume that their beauty means they have other desirable personality characteristics.

The more average-looking woman should catalog her own personal beauty assets, and realize that sex appeal – according to men – doesn’t necessarily correlate with beauty.

Sexy women carry a delicate balance between needing a man and being able to survive without one – which probably creates a sensuous unrest that men find appealing.

Many sexy women do use their “charm” or sexual attractiveness to get small advantage for themselves.

When a woman experiences major body changes caused by childbirth, surgery, etc., she is usually able to bounce back after a period of time into a renewed confidence in her own femininity.