Ten Rules for a Successful Relationship

1. Successful partners do not take their relationship for granted. The relationship needs to constantly be renewed and nurtured.

2. Successful partners make their relationship the first priority.

3. Successful partners actively seek to meet each other’s needs. Don’t wait for the request to be made. Do it, whatever it is, before you are asked, and the value of what you do will be much greater.

4. Successful partners know when, and when not, to change in response to each other. Successful partners are flexible and willing to change in response to each other’s needs. Successful partners can give in as the situation demands, but also know when not to give in. They know what they can and cannot be, and will not strive to comply with requests that they simply cannot fulfill while remaining true to themselves.

5. Successful partners value themselves. You cannot find salvation in a relationship.

6. Successful partners love each other, not their idealizations of each other. In successful relationships, the partners love each other for who they are, not for who they want each other to be.

7. Successful partners tolerate what they cannot change.

8. Successful partners are open with each other.

9. Successful partners make good times together and grow through the bad ones. They purposely create joint activities that will be enjoyable both in their own right and in the companionship each partner can supply. Rather than wait for good times to happen, they create them. At the same time, they recognize that there will be bad times, but use these as an opportunity for growth. Even if you are truly honest with each other, you will not prevent some bad times – but you will pave the road for mutual growth and come out stronger.

10. Successful partners do unto each other as they would have done unto them. If you truly want your relationship to work, see things from the other’s point of view in order to develop the empathy and understanding that underlay every successful close relationship.