WHY – What Helps You

September 12, 2011
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To get what you want, it really helps to to what you want – and WHY.

Allow yourself to answer three important questions:

1. What, specifically, do you want?

2. What stops you from getting from what you want?

3. How will you know that you have achieved the changes or results you desire?

WHY is What Helps You – reach your goals

Identify why what you want is important – to you and/or others?

Identifying your values. What is fundamentally important (and driving you)?

Aligning to your values and what is fundamentally most important to you will help you take action, keep going, and make any changes stick.

What is important to you about _________?

What ELSE is important to you about _________?

Go beyond 2-3 times of having nothing more to say.

What is most important usually comes up at the end of the list…..

Don’t go it alone. Find a friend who is objective for support and accountability.

Self-sabotage is the result of internal (parts) conflict.

Discover underlying positive intention of each part

If part of you wants ____ and another part of you wants _____
If on one hand you want ____ but on another you want ______

What is it’s highest positive intention? What does it ultimately want for you?

Identify Secondary gain

What does being this way allow you to feel, have, or do?

How can you get that same thing – in a better and more ecological way?

What else (instead)?

Perceptual Positions

Got a problem?
1. Imagine floating above yourself, looking down on yourself.
Ask: What else can you do in this moment?
What additional choices do you have – from this vantage point?

2. View yourself or situation from second position – someone else’s perspective.
How would it look, feel, or sound to someone else – and what would they recommend?

3. Take a third-party (meta) position.
What would an objective bystander think and suggest from a big picture view?

Regardless of outcome, always Ask:
1. What did you learn?
2. What would you do different next time – to get a better or more desired result next time?
3. What else could this mean?

Please post a comment to let me – and others – know.

Energy flows to where attention goes. We get more of what we reinforce.

Pay as much attention to the questions you ask as the answers you get.

More great questions to consider.

Live to the fullest of your own inner potential

© 2011, Oren Pardes. All rights reserved.

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